Tripulantes
XenoEspecialista em aleatoridade, ganhador do prêmio nobel do charme, mestre em despejar água no filtro de cafe, gosta de longas caminhadas na praia após violentos massacres sanguinários.
Torugo
Vagabundo por profissão, atoa por opção, idiota por exclusão, previsível por absurdo.
Eldronin
De 84 anos de idade, foi abduzido em 1934 e conservado todo esse tempo em uma banheira de anti-vida. Seus ossos tem coloração mínima de apenas 4 cores.
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Deborah Happ
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2012/03/23Goldman Sachs and PR problems Goldman is going through a bit of a bad patch with humanity. Though the underworld servants have always been the majority of their clients, humanity comprised a fair share of their business. When questioned about such PR problems their marketing director, Mr Yoursoul Wewantith , answered defensively: "We've had no such problems, in fact we haven't had a single Puerto Rican on the pay role since last month. We fired their Latin asses!" Given the negative acceptance by the public of the directors Statement, the vice president of the financial arm made a come back statement in an attempt calm public furor "We are willing to exchange the future ransom of all human infants for public acceptance." Just last month, former Goldman Sachs employee in Japan made a formal protest against the harsh manner in which the company "let him go". He said, in a firm but slightly irritated tone, that he was so upset by the companies attitude that he even tried to give them the finger, though Goldman Sachs human resource zombies had slashed his wrists, making such a movement impossible.
Por: Unknown @ 21:21
2012/03/21"Just divide the vector by that matrix there, durrr" --anonymous engineer The Amazingly Witty Eloquent Solitary Opinionated Mathematics spEcialist: "It appears that every unit of growth from datum A implies in a logarithmic growth of datum B" Engineer: "Just fit a line" The AWESOME: "What? I'm telling you, we know it's functional form, it's just A = log(B)" Engineer: "Just fit a line, durrr" Are you tired of hearing this and other drunken slurs from sober engineers? Have they imposed shortcuts when all was need is a simplex? Did they hire a engineer to do a mathematicians job? Step 1: Lock up the engineer. When questioned, say he drank himself into a stupor, no one will question this. Step 2: Do his job forever, and avoid mentioning that he ever existed.
Por: Unknown @ 23:24
2012/03/20The Investment Bank Working for a Investment Bank is a noble endeavor, much like whaling. And like whaling, after a hard working crew captures a large and rare whale, they will Bathe themselves in their captives blood, so will bankers bathe themselves in whale blood after successfully securing a large investment. This is not the only wildlife experience one will have when working in the Bank. It is known that large strategic consulting firms will go out clubbing to commemorate. Bankers on the other hand prefer Clubbing baby seals. The idea that Banks steal peoples money is completely misconstrued. The Bank, or it's pet name: the Soul Vault, is actually is the business of robbing peoples spirit and humanity. Common people do not understand the value of such a collection. But the Investment Bank does. Upper management will then infuse these souls into organic mass to then proceed to rub them against their private parts. Despite their peaceful profession, Soul Vaults have had some PR problems in the past, the Rolling Stones Magazine coined the term Vampire Squid for Goldman Sachs, I quote
“The world's most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.” Though Goldman Sachs have come out on top from these affairs by simply continuing to roll in da cash. Later on in the article, the author lets slip that he in fact admires the squids capacity to find lucrative opportunities even during the economic recessions, I quote
“If America is circling down the drain, Goldman Sachs has found a way to be that drain.”
“Upon signing this employment contract, the employees mortal soul and physical remains henceforth belong to Goldman Sachs inc. ” Though it is known that one resigns ones soul to work for the Squid, this whole physical remains part is new. Time soon shed light on this misunderstanding, after, through a Cooperative business action with DarkArt inc, the Squid has successfully resurrected former (or should I say law binding) employees. The “ Round two Slaves” have had to be kept separate from their soft warm counterparts for being known not to play nice, the stock value of the squid has sky rocketed showing the clear approval of the stock holders.
Por: Unknown @ 21:06
2012/03/18Bits of Nerv Nerv is alive. If yes, can it die? To better answer this postulate, let us take a pause to analyze how this thing called Nerv functions. Like many specimens from the Fungi family, Nerv came to being in a dark and humid corner of the world. A student kitnet. Much like an amoeba, this student conglomerate started to swallow more and more student entities.  At it's peak, the amorphous Nervmass was in the minds and conversations of many a student. This has been proven by examining the feces of deceased subjects. Admittedly, the subjects were taken down by the examination team for study. But rest assure only students were hurt to produce this documentary, and no real people or animals. One day, like a violent, though voluntary, sneeze, Nerv spread it's gooey entrails over the continents. It has been said that the specs of Nerv-phlegm found across the seas continues to function, a most interesting aspect of the Nerv-thing. The Nerv also suffers from an incurable internal moral rot. Though the Nerv keeps it's behavioral disease under control using a fascinating escape vent. You see, the Nerv-Blob uses the Nerv-Blog to spew puss and corruption on the exterior world. While the world actively avoids any direct contact with the putrid Nerv-exhale, according to the blog statistics, the larger part of this visceral emanation is absorbed by the foreign units of Nerv-phlegm. One might even construe that this, in part, explains how the distant Nerv bits continue to be Nerv. To be continued.
Por: Unknown @ 23:59
Karateguxos e Javalis de kimono
Cansada, porem correndo na chuva. Correndo na direcao do meu clubinho de karatecazinhos. Rangendo os dentes com desgosto ao lembrar das extensoes de braço moles que apelidaram de "socuxos". Dificil decifrar o proposito destes socuxos. Apos inumeras observações, deduzo que e uma forma ritualistica de exprimir felizidade ao ver seus amigos karateguxos chegando na aula. Esses espasmos pseudo-aleatorios certamente nao tem proposito violento, e o certamente nao estao imaginando um inimigo invisivel.
Por: Unknown @ 23:35
Copyright Deborah Happ 2007 |
